What's Up Wednesday Number One
February 1st, 2012
Well now this is long overdue but here comes the next installment of my quest to subscribe to some sort of order/structure for this thing I call an outlet for chaos. What's Up Wednesday is essentially just going to be a check in to express where I'm currently at. That being said, this stuff may very well be quite esoteric. So, anyway, after taking so much time and slacking so hard, here goes:
"What's Up" Number One
Currently I'm not exactly sure what I am doing any more. There are so many projects I'm leaving to gather dust that it's definitely of concern for me. "FunDtail", "the Saint Sage Path", "FPLYCYD", the weekly schedule here, as well as just my backlog of topics I had been meaning to cover in the first place. And all of that's just on the create side of the table, the improve side is just as uncomforting. It sounds like the world I'm dancing around is overwhelming but in truth I don't know if I even feel any thing close to that right now.
What am I feeling? That has been on my mind for a bit of a while now. It's quite perculiar to say the least since I really have no idea how to even approach that topic. It's not quite numb but not quite depression either. I know it's not happiness because I still feel like a failure. A failure not content to end out in such a manner but a failure nonetheless. Perhaps overwhelmed is the absolute truth. Maybe that's exactly why I don't know what I'm feeling or even what TO feel.I'm really taking a lot here both mentally and even physically. What if I've just crossed my limit?
If this is my limit I'd think this truly was depressing. My legs are in quite a bit of pain. Open sores that seem to have spread across at least 60% of epidermis. Itching, stinging, just pain and being winter I get to enjoy the not so gentle chaffing of pant and flesh. Creams fail me since it's not fully scabbed over and the dry nature of this area just continue to crack damage what few surface areas unaffected. This sure sucks.Though that's it.
What else do I feel? What am I SUPPOSED to feel?