Monday was rubbish. Let me just be honest in saying so. The first legitimate time back in the saddle and I flubbed it pretty hard. The post was all over the place and lacked the initial message I attempted to convey. It wasn't up to standard and for that I apologize. I'm sorry. Truly.
You see I had a docket of sorts. It's years old and includes scratch notes about topics that stirred enough ire within me to warrant a "discussion." Did I mention the docket had accumulated a bit of dust? I prefaced the identifier of notes with the modifier "scratch" specifically because.... Never mind, it's easier to just admit I've gotten old. Easier to accept I'm not at my finest or sharpest anymore. Wow, you won't believe how much it sucks to put that into the ether but truth has always objectively been more important to me than most anything else. At least as I reside in this current head space anyway.
Full disclosure, the list:
Knowing when to close eyes (kissing)
Break me down, carry over, no building back up
School hold up, artpush (?)
Fake Women/SKINNY Women Media
Scam FemalesXXX
Gays
SpamXXX
Women Disrespect
People Disrespect/Knowledge is still power
Msogyny-Made-Man
Some of the topics I remember enough to dabble in and others not so much at all. It's a bit depressing but to be fair, most everything is when you're depressed. Oh, I'm depressed. I've mentioned it before but it has been a few years. Welcome to my nightmare. No, you're not going to like it. Please don't sue me. Moving on, I attempted to tackle one of those topics about on Monday and on top of being late I royally screwed up the premise. At this point I'm just repeating myself I know but just follow me here. I realized while typing it up that it'd be a disservice to force it. To pretend as though I could muster the same passions I once held now that the experience I've gained over the past few years has brought a strikingly abundant amount of nuance to, well, most every aspect of my understanding. I'm far from enlightened but I'm not exactly the same as I once was. To say not exactly because what do you know, still depressed but that's not as important as the fact that I need to move forward to pursue any realness, any sort of authenticity. So while I regret those topics are left to fall to the wayside I suppose something arguably better* may take form.
Thanks for humoring me dear ether.
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Timestamp: 00:18:18
Word:Typo Count: 418:004
Listening: Mass:Light (Bonus Album) by Murray Lightburn
* Adding arguably serves the purpose of an asterisk sure but then I wouldn't have been able to then add this utterly unnecessary note at the end.^
^ I hate myself.