I guess in the grand scheme it’s just time to come out and say what I’m sure you all already know. I can’t stick to a schedule to save my life. All these grand ideals and at the end of the day it all just falls to the wayside like so much more. While putting this out here may very well be synonymous with an inkling of light left in this dark, perhaps it is just the final flicker. I’ve been wanting to shake off the cobwebs for a bit now but then it seems like there’s plenty of walls in the way. Every writer I admire keeps saying the same thing. “Just write” or “Keep writing” and here I go spewing into the ether. It’s not like I don’t have words. Even if they’re garbage, I still have words. It’s just that, well, maybe I’m not as INTP as I thought. The schedule is stressing me out and I already burned my surplus long ago. I’m so far behind the curve and sure, why now? Let’s take on a huge project on top of all this.
I’ve gotten old. Gray’s showing. Eyes can’t quite focus. Everything tastes like dirt and can’t smell for crap. Haven’t felt anything since I realized I was a sociopath so hearing’s all I have at this point. But even with that I just don’t even know.
New—read as big—project takes shape in April. That is to say it’ll begin in April and while I still have some research to do on the legality of posting it, contractual obligations can suck a fat one, I guess time will tell if it’ll ever see the light of day. Either way I plan to go in on this a little more. I’d hate to force it but I can’t quite let it die just yet either. Need to dust off the mech-pen and draft up some work for an overhaul. Not to mention I also should finally connect some of these branches to the big tree. The fruit has soured with the old twitter but the roots still seem okay. Insta and Youtube are things and while infrequent and boring Twitch is a thing I do every now and then. Facebook can suck a big toe. Perhaps I’ll make a post about why down the line but for now, just know, it’s a non-starter. Oh and something along the line of a Snapchat embed should be interesting.
Well, so this is where I’m at. More or less. Still insane. Alone and insane. Just the way it should be. Take care.