November 27th, 2012; tumblr
…I just so happen to feel like crap again. Its been a while since I’ve written so I figured, I might as well. It’s not as though things have been going well in my absence. This isn’t a journal type of situation. I’ve just been, for lack of a better expression, off.
I started "The War, A Way" and stopped at chapter three. It was so strong and I was so motivated, yet now I’m, back to being what I’ve forever and a day circled. I was about to say something depressing just then. Something I feel or better yet felt about my self. Something I probably still feel. But, as I’ve stated before, I don’t have the luxury anymore. The mission has already started.
I’ve been behind this whole time, waiting for some kind of bell or whistle or just anything to signal the role I’m to play. It was foolish to think it’d be that easy. A fight like this? With stakes so high? How could I have been so blind all this time?
Simple. I fell pray to the very thing that I’d been trying to escape. Getting stuck in a rut. Becoming old, no. To loose the ability to adapt. So here I am. Maybe it’s already too late. I mean really, just what the hell can I even expect to accomplish at this point? Doesn’t matter really. Never did, probably. I’m just supposed to fight.
So. I. Will. Fight.