Can Sociopaths Be Suicidal?
February 14th, 2018; WUW
There's no good reason to start these with "I want" but that always seems to be the go to. It's Valentine's Day. Usually the equates to nothing for me but now here I am. Thinking of someone. Thinking of someone who by all accounts doesn't want me. At least not in the same way I do them. Can you still have heartaches if you have no heart? Can sociopaths be suicidal?
Wow, call me the "one-pump chump" over here. I already let out the title and we haven't even gotten to the second paragraph. Maybe I'm just off my game more than I thought. Maybe I'm a bigger idiot than.... What? I thought? Such a waste of line space.
What's the update? That's what this is for after all. Didn't have one last week. Not for lack of trying... wait, no. Definitely for lack of trying. I had some stuff going on that was too important to create a post but not important enough to remember after the fact. That sounds fair and legitimate right? Nope. Okay.
It's "Valentine's Day." What does that mean to me? What does that mean to my life? Wasn't I trying to die not all that long ago? (Never stopped, still trying) But where is all this coming from is what I keep asking myself. Lie. I don't ask myself that. I ask what I feel as the world burns around me. The answer helps me gauge my mental state. Have to love that subconscious mind. I'm sick. I tried to save someone for the first time in a while. Didn't know where the impulse came from. Maybe the last remnants of him. Maybe the re-ignition of that old core directive. I'm fading out. I got blood on me. Had to reach through puke filled water to open a drain so the person wouldn't drown in their own vomit. I carried them to their room. I helped them stay alive and all I could think was, "are humans really just that weak?" No one needs me. Not really. I'm slowly losing it all and no one notices. That's the way I want it. But it's "Valentine's Day" and I want to do something special. I can't tell what's real anymore. Is this another mask or is it the only genuine left?
Can sociopaths be suicidal?