For the longest time now I've found myself cycling around the idea that the me of years-read as decades now-prior, was the best me. As I've continued on into this place I currently reside, I've found it increasingly more difficult to, persist. Couldn't for the life of me find any way out. Still can't if I'm being honest, but if there's any truth at all, it's just this:  Whatever I was and whatever I am, don't matter.

I've been living in the shadow of a past I lived out. I understand that to move forward I need to accept my shortcomings and make peace with the fact that obscurity is the best I may be able to hope for. I get it. Truly. So what now? Simple. Just going to do whatever I always do. Regret. Hurt. Al the pain that's layered the walls around my soul will just have to do.

This likely seems like I'm getting "back on the horse," so to speak. Really though, I think I'm just finally leaving it. Been coasting so long it's no surprise my legs have atrophied. Feel like a baby or something. Just going to take this one step and, if possible, take the next right after.