empty lamb

Consider this an addendum to subtlety.

Having more and more trouble lately. Looking in the mirror I don't recognize myself. Not sure if this is normal or not. On good days I have trouble recognizing my own voice and the bad days...well.... If this were some terribly dream, some sick joke even, maybe, please?

I will soon cease to exist. I just hope there'll be a little of me left after it all comes to pass. If only a small fragment of this consciousness left afloat in the ether.

Why can't I see it...

We are such simple creatures and I wonder if that isn't how we're supposed to be. The sadness is all encompassing now and it's no longer the bother it used to be. Perhaps the cold oblivion that waits is something more of a pleasure for the likes of the distraught. Save...me,...

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Listening to:  Everything Will Be Alright by The Killers

So I titled a post "Prostitutes I" and ended it with a question along the lines of, 'do you get why it was named such and such now?' A comment was left in response stating quite clearly, "No." Since this place doesn't exactly get the most traffic to begin with, I figure I should at least take the time to elaborate on anything left by anyone kind enough to visit. So, I guess, it has all to do with the title of this particular post as well.

"I've Got Friends" just so happens to be the name of a song by the Manchester Orchestra. I just so happened to be listening to it and figure, now's as good a time as any to address the aforementioned inquiry. I've left a link in case anyone's interested in making comparisons.

ANYway, this is a dotcom. I pay to keep this site running. And, for my money I'm given the keys to a medium in which I can express myself in a way or ways I don't have the ability to as regularly, if at all. Sort of like having a friend you pay for. But no one's so gullible to believe a friend is really a friend if you're paying them right? So. there that is. The essence of "Prostitutes." Because due to circumstances that have long gone past the point of avoidance, there just isn't any other alternative.

And there it is. Thanks for the read and obviously the visit.

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Listening to:  Propane Nightmares by Pendulum

Hate. Hate is a strong word. That statement however is based on perspective. Some people have professed the insignificance of words as they can only be given power by one's willingness to let them affect their person. But with that rationale, isn't the only way to alleviate such an issue be by calling for mankind to reach the next plateau of consciousness? To reach an emotional level of development that would allow all to shake the connotations, associations, and simply sheer baggage of grammar. The fabled ideal world where logic reigns supreme regardless of the sacrifices of individuality. For some 'strange' reason I don't see that happening any time soon.

The focus is North America, specifically The U.S. of A. Back as a teen, the desire to strike out and be unique was laughable. Laughable because everyone essentially wanted to be uniquely one thing of a set number of things. The formation of cliques developed from that. Those that wanted to be the smartest, the best at sports, the best artist, and even those who wanted to be uniquely, 'unique.' The push for acceptance while rebuking anyone who couldn't 'deal' was enormous. But 'then' and 'now' are eons apart. After the events of 9/11 a new age of censorship began in the U.S.. Whether it was by the government or just self-imposed out of fear, things had started changing. Hate began to take on a new form. One, more deceptive than ever before. Not for terrorism, or some faceless evil, but for free thought.

A war has been brewing against free thought for a long time. It's nothing new. When two people with differing beliefs meet, they tend to collide at some point or other. The collision is actually the good thing. Grabbing ankle only leads to deep seated anger towards the object of one's discontent. The collision can birth something new, something better, a sense of true acceptance as opposed to the tolerance that's being pushed forward. So where does this new breed of hate come in? The fight for speech. Rights are one thing. But the attacks on people's feelings is something else entirely.

People being held accountable for their remarks isn't anything new. Condemning people in hopes for that ideal utopian global community which accommodates every individual's ideals, beliefs, cultures, and even opinions is ridiculous. For one, short of a purely logical emotionally stagnated world, it's not feasibly possible. And, for two, that world already existed. It was called the internet. HOWEVER, bringing real world jurisdictions and 'law' into it have perverted it into a shell of the potential it once was. One of the few refugees for one to really express themselves has been slowly decaying into a corporate gloryhole. So where can one be themselves without sinking into the luxurious existence of a recluse?

I know a black man. I specifically state him as a 'black' man because he does not identify with the term 'African-American.' He holds no animosity towards it but from his perspective he doesn't understand how it applies to him. He is a natural born citizen of the U.S.A. birthed from parents also born and raised in the U.S.. Now after years of association with that man I've come to comprehend quite a bit about the nature of individuality. But were I to voice such understandings in an open forum I would find myself open to attack on the basis of being politically incorrect. Just as this post is open to the same attacks the level of security granted by anonymity makes continuing possible. Needless to say, life has changed.

Life is generally defined as being alive, living, not dead. But what kind of existence can one have when they pass through mute, weary of the newest growing obsession of being 'politically correct' in a world where people of differing ethnicities will show pride or aggression toward a word? Where people of differing sexualities can emote rage or even use casually, terms that generally refer negatively to those of their sexual preference? The uprising of people who share a common desire to be treated fairly is a righteous happening but, where is the line?

When the 'enlightened' jump on the bandwagon and start verbally assaulting anyone with a conflicting viewpoint, how can such a just cause not turn to the very thing it was started for? Therein lies a future. Obsessions with accommodation instead of acceptance. Tolerance instead of true resolution. Perhaps my generation has finally just gotten to the point where we start becoming our parents/grandparents, using terminology commonplace to an era that we're the only ones still living in.

Sh*t, never saw it coming.

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Listening to:  Why Can't We Be Friends

So yeah I've been neglecting this section for a bit of a while and figured what the hell, why not right? So yeah as the title states, this little piece'll be about sh*tting. Those with weak constitutions should probably stop reading here.

So yeah, the other day I'm sitting on the can evicting some "tenants" from the ole anal slums and I swear it was like finding that one occupant who doesn't want to leave. Like having that one person who for whatever reason, whether it be because of supreme obesity or just insanity, will not get out of the premises. Needless to say, after that little episode I began to wonder...

Anyone else ever drop a deuce so hard that it made your knees and everything below them go numb? Just wondering...