Throwback Thursday #4: Tell Three

Source via Facebook Notes

by Morribb Tyler Lehrer on Sunday, December 30, 2007 at 3:11am

Something sad and lonely. Something depressing. The grays that mix with black. It's so convoluted. Where are all the happy smiling kids with their puppy dogs and lollipops? What the fuck happened to America so that a kid can't go into a Saturday night without looking for some sort of intoxication? Is the world so bad? Have things gotten so bleak that no one wants to be here? That people would much rather just coast on the edge of living until their time finally runs out. I don't smoke but maybe I should. It'd make shit like this seem cooler wouldn't it?

Throwback Thursdays #3: Tell Two

Source via Facebook Notes

by Morribb Tyler Lehrer on Sunday, December 30, 2007 at 2:49am

Tell me something more. When do you get to the point where it's all okay? Not fine, not great, not grand, just okay. This world is huge and full of such experiences. Where do we all go is a nice question but so broad. Too broad perhaps. Where one goes is enough already than where billions. So one more time, tell me something more. Something else. Why not, okay?

Watch Me As I Unhinge

These are truly times of trying for those of us in the know. Those of us who see the forks and the arduous paths created by such bifurcation. This, I'm afraid, will bleed into the 'Rise Initiative' but, please bare with me. I inquire now as to the nature of good intentions. Further then I weigh the benefit of evil as a deterrent. What is surmises to is whether there is any true worth to embracing darkness, read being the 'bad guy.'

I did bad today. I cracked a window to darkness I've spent so many years trying to bury. I gave in to it and let hell rise. For whatever reasons, for whatever good came about, I will hate myself now and forever. My last vestige of humanity, may have been severed. Today, everyone became painfully aware of how horrible I already knew I was. Worst still is that it had to be in front of her. To her. To one so naive, so gullible, so inexperienced but eager to grasp the lessons us jaded now take for granted.

My vision, to call to arms the archetype around us all but, it seems, all I've done is grant audience a performance of the blackest of souls.

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Hearing:  Most Beautiful Plague by Say Anything

Runner's Cut

It's almost three in the morning and I just all but downed a 16.9 OZ bottle of water. For the last few hours I've been "cleaning" my room while watching youtube videos. I can honestly say that although I have an early work morning today, nothing else trumps the pain I currently feel.

You see, I went for a run quite early this morning and found some unexplainable desire to push myself to the proverbial limit. I suppose you can infer that it wasn't the best of ideas. "The road to hell...," and whatnot right? Cut to an hour or so later once I'm in my room and getting prepared to shower, I find my toe hurts (pinkie to be specific). It is not an enjoyable experience and upon further inspection I find that it is because I split the skin in between my foot and [pinkie] toe. It's like having a papercut in between your fingers.

IT. SUCKS. SO. BAD.

Though who am I to look at this as what it is and be content? I've begun another phase of deconstruction. I need to take baby steps and if nothing else, this morning was the literally proof of that. Things have gotten out of hand; I have gotten out of control and that needs to be addressed. Honestly the biggest question on my mind at this point is simply, what is the statute of limitation for believing things'll get better? When is it a good time to agree that they won't and to cut one's losses? Five years enough? How about ten? Fifteen then?

My toe's really gonna bug me for the rest of the week. I just know it.

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Hearing:  Paper Cuts by Runner Runner

Serious

It's not like it takes a genius to figure out why my updates are so sporadic. I spend so much time in my head that it's near impossible for me to do more than be a leaf in the wind. Sometimes inspiration hits and sometimes it just doesn't. Been looking into a tablet for just that reason. Maybe catch some of those epiphanies as they happen so that I can transfer later. Pen and paper just doesn't seem to work to well in my "active" lifestyle. Makes you wonder how the manifesto's coming doesn't it? Anyway, I guess I'll have to stop being lazy and just get to it. Shout outs to the Android market. Lets see if that'll alleviate some of the issue. All that said and done...

I swear if I ever find a female who doesn't refer to Manhattan as NYC, I'll marry her.

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Listening to:  All The Shine by Childish Gambino